Ablutions Anybody…?

We had slept with the reed walls of our tree-house in the rolled up position and made sure our mosquito nets were properly installed before dropping off to sleep the previous night. I lay in my bed, watching the sun slowly come up over the Kavango River and the Bwabwata Game Reserve across from the camp… It was a stunning sight, with the river just below me, and the Game Reserve just across from it, where animals came down to drink in the early morning light… “Ah…this is my Africa…” I would say this to myself often over the next few weeks…

Gentle snoring came from the direction of Allan’s tree-house to the right of where I lay… Remembering that in our inebriated state last night, we had provisionally booked a Mokoro trip for 8.30am this morning, I got up, and dressed in shorts and bandana only, I walked about two kilometres back along the sand road leading to camp to try and get a signal for my cell phone… I had not “checked in” the day before and needed to let the folk back home know that I was still alive… Fresh hippo tracks all along the road ensured that I kept an eagle eye out for these lumbering giants… I had no intention of engaging in a footrace with these animals… Barefoot nogal!!

The interior of my tree-house, on the banks of the Kavango River…

When I got back to camp, Allan was standing on his balcony in his underwear, a huge grin creasing his face… “Isn’t this just brilliant Doctor B.?” he shouted across to me as I arrived back at my tree-house… He had taken to calling me this from the time he had arrived in Grootfontein and for the life of me I can’t remember why… But then, I was to discover that Allan didn’t need a reason to do anything…he just went with what felt right at the time… I had become Dr. B. and would be introduced as such for the remainder of our time together…

The information board at Ngepi Camp… The “ablution tour” proved very interesting…

We later decided to take the “ablution tour”… Whoever built this camp had a rather strange sense of humour. There are various working toilets scattered throughout the camp, with names like “View with a Loo”, “Boskak”, “His and Hers”, (featuring two toilets side by side, hers with a pink mat and his with a blue one!), “Thunderbox” and “Toilet in Eden”. We were amazed at what we saw and decided to try and make use of as many as possible during our stay. I can tell you that it is a little disconcerting making use of these facilities, as none of them has a door of any reasonable description… The only thing stopping another guest from walking in on you is a little stick which you are meant to hang across the opening… Time spent in these ablutions is therefore of a very short nature… Allan was unfortunate enough to make use of one just after a short rain-spell, and found to his annoyance, that the toilet roll had been left in the rain by the previous occupant, instead of being put back in the plastic container provided for it…..

Allan enjoys a not so private moment in the “Toilet of Eden”….

The birdlife in camp was as varied as Duncan promised it would be when we called to make our booking. Bird calls were a constant, echoing through the trees and they went on well after dark, starting again as early as 4.30am each morning. Allan’s voice often floated across to me saying things like, “Doctor B., can you do something about this racket?” and “For God’s sake, enough already!!”… He enjoys his sleep, does our Allan… On one occasion I heard anxious cries of “Shoo, shoo darn it…” coming from his tree-house, and thought there might be an animal of some kind in there with him… Turned out it was a dove that had landed on his balcony and was pecking away at the crumbs from his Bauer’s Cream Crackers…

I believe that we encountered at least 80 species of birds while staying at Ngepi Lodge and this was without really looking for them… Thick-billed Weavers nested a few metres from my tree-house; there were almost always Turtle Doves in the tree it was built in; Crakes walked across the lawns and almost into the bar; Long-Tailed Starlings flew between the uprights of the buildings; Jacanas were always in sight on the river; Egrets rested on the hippo’s backs, alongside Red-billed Oxpeckers; Coppery-tailed Coucals called from the reeds and flew about in the gardens; Firefinches bathed in the many bird baths in camp; Red-headed weavers vied for crumbs from the dining tables; Terrestrial Bulbuls and Kurichane Thrushes fought over titbits in the leaf litter under the trees; White Browed Robin-Chats sang from the shrubbery, and Hartlaub’s Babblers made a constant racket as they flew from tree to tree…

One of the guides, Christoff, had been sent on a birding course in Windhoek, and was a mine of information. Whenever Allan took a nap, I sought out Christoff and we sat identifying birds and talking about birding and the “specials” he had seen while working here at Ngepi… He was overjoyed to be able to use his knowledge and very proud of the fact that he was the only “birdman” among the guides at Ngepi…

Rainy afternoon spent lying on my bed, catching up on some sleep….

We retired to the swimming pool to while away the afternoon and together with a Dutch couple, as well as Danielle and Mike Southwell from Canada, enjoyed a refreshing swim… The Dutch girl, in typical European mode, stripped down to a smallish bikini before diving into the pool… Allan and I tried to appear nonchalant, but his raised eyebrows had me turning away to have a quiet laugh to myself…

We agreed to have dinner together, and later that night we managed to do irreparable damage to five bottles of wine…. Allan and I know the importance of bikers keeping well hydrated during a long trip such as this… The Canadian and Dutch couples eventually staggered off their respective tents, leaving Allan and I to ensure that no wine remained in any of the bottles… We were handling this “touring Africa” lark quite well, I thought and mentioned this to Allan, who replied that he would need a few more nights like this to make up his mind…

The world’s first hippo and croc diving cage, Kavango River, Caprivi….

You need to bring your sense of humour when visiting Ngepi, and it is better to expect little and to go away happy, than to expect too much and be constantly annoyed. We fell somewhere in between… There is no power in camp during the daylight hours (they were trying to save the generator, which was “on it’s last legs” according to Duncan). There is power in the late afternoons, and this is switched off at about 10.00pm each night… The camp then runs on battery power, until that too dies, which doesn’t take very long… When the sound of the generator dies, there is a mad scramble by those without torches on their person, to get back to their tents or bush huts before all light is lost… There seemed to be a general aversion to meeting a hippo in the dark along the many paths that wound through the bush to their secluded campsites… Allan and I scared everybody witless by claiming to have seen a hippo in the shrubbery close to reception… The Dutch couple refused to leave the dining area until no less that four of the guides were summoned to walk them to their tent…

The bar at Ngepi has many signs that foretell of service levels to be expected, some humorous, other deadly serious, like “Be Nice or Go Home”, and “Our waiters have the day off, please serve yourself…” Others such as “Prices subject to customer’s attitude” and “If you are with George Bush, then you are not welcome here” might irk certain clientele… Also, “Be careful with your personal property; please tell reception immediately if you lose your sense of humour…” We tried, but nobody would listen!!

The Kavango Guava Bar is filled with these signs, as well as the “Hall of Fame / Wall of Shame” notice board, which has many photos of previous guests, and the shenanigans they have got up to… “Naked Thursday” was one theme that kept us at the notice board for some time… It seems on Thursdays, nakedness is celebrated, and many of the overseas guests take full advantage of this… We considered staying another night to experience this rather quaint tradition…

Some of the signs at the Kavango Guava Bar…

Allan and I were at times irked by the inflexibility of the staff, and here I am not talking about their refusal to put Allan’s bike on two Mokoros strapped together, and pole him down to Maun in Botswana!… But rather the little things, like refusing to allow us to have four items on our toasted sandwiches instead of only the three allowed, even when we offered to pay for the extra slice of salami!! Or refusing to put the generator on an hour earlier, so that we could plug in and charge our laptops… Or charging N$ 95.00 for a small bowl of spaghetti and a limp salad and then not having enough to have a second helping!!

We would be asked if we were having supper, and when we asked what was on the menu, they would tell us that they had not decided yet!! Talk about a captive clientele!! They would decide at about 5.00pm what they were going to make for dinner and on one evening, we were served one small piece of chicken… We were told that there was just enough chicken for everybody to have but one piece each… This despite them knowing exactly how many people had booked dinner…

Constant references were made to the “owner in South Africa” who had issued strict instructions to the staff not to deviate from any of the rules… This was probably the most disappointing thing about Ngepi… Considering that we were paying at least 50% more for a “tree-house” than we had for air-conditioned rooms in the rest of Namibia, we felt that they could improve their customer relations… significantly…..

The attitude of the staff remained very friendly and helpful, (except when something out of the ordinary and not part of their “instructions” was asked for) and on the whole we enjoyed our stay at this quirky camp in the depths of the Caprivi…

I think if we had pitched our tents and made our own meals, we would have expected less and enjoyed our stay even more…

My office at the Ngepi Bar…

© 2008 TBMH