Tricky Ride to Vientiane…

Umbrellas were out as we made our way through the outskirts of Luang Prabang...

The roads leading up into the mountains were slick, and the rain never let up...

The rain just wouldn’t quit…

Willi had warned that the first 25 kms of road to Xiang Ngeun was under construction, and was “torn up and dusty” when he went through three days before…

I wondered what the constant rain and heavy traffic had done to this section… I was betting that it would no longer be “dusty”…!!

I kitted up in full rain gear, and left Luang Prabang in the middle of another rain squall… Perfect timing…!! I had to smile at the people on their scooters that rode around using umbrellas to keep their clothes dry…

“Maybe I should get one of those…!!” I suggested to the Big Fella…

His reply fell into the unprintable category,  (not sure who is teaching him to swear…!!) but I did catch something about “finding another rider”…!!

I was very conscious of the fact that my tyres had now seen better days, and took the first dozen curves cautiously, until I found a good riding rhythm, and then settled in for the long haul to Vientiane…

A short distance out of town, I no longer had to wonder what condition the road would be in…

Just what I needed first thing in the morning...!!

A shiver ran up my spine at the sight that greeted us as we rounded a bend and came up behind a long line of vehicles waiting to negotiate a long muddy section of road… And the shiver had absolutely nothing to do with the cold weather…!! I think it might have come up from the bike…!!

I rode up to the front of the line to take a look at what lay ahead of us… I was about to hop off the bike and walk through the mud to find the best line to ride through, when a young girl on scooter came past me and rode straight on into the tracks made by other vehicles, and buzzed away through the mud…

“Well that settles that…!!” I told the Big Fella, “We’ll look like a pair of pansies if I walk out there now…!! Brace yourself… We’re going in…!!”

With my heart in  my mouth, I eased the clutch out, kicked quickly into 2nd gear, and battled my way through the mud, following the tracks of the little scooter in front of us…

It wasn’t pretty, but we made it through to the other side without getting bogged down, or even worse, ending up head first in two feet of mud…!! I pulled over and heard my lungs ask if I wouldn’t mind taking a breath or two, if only to prevent an embarrassing blackout…!!

Over the next few kilometres, we battled through another three similar sections to this, and I am not ashamed to say that I handled them with as little confidence as I had done the first one…!! Riding a big bike through thick mud has never been my idea of an idyllic way to spend a morning…!!

We skated through the village of Xiang Ngeun... Tight sphincters all the way...!!

On one section, I came behind a guy on a scoter, and hearing the low growl of discontent coming from the Big Fella, the guy panicked… First his one slip-slop came off, and quickly disappeared under the Big Fella’s front tyre, pressed deep into the mud under us… The scooter rider looked back to see where his slip-slop had ended up…

BIG mistake…!! By turning around in the saddle, he also turned the steering, and his front wheel ploughed into a mudbank… All I saw was a big pair of eyes as he went “arse over kettle” into the mud… I narrowly missed riding over his back wheel as I motored past him, determined not to stop in fear of bogging down myself…!! A hundred metres further on I pulled over to see if he was OK, and saw him kneeling in the mud next to his scooter, and I was prepared to lay good money on a bet that he was not praying…!!

I knew that we had two big mountain ranges to climb before we got to Phou Khoun, and thankfully, after Xiang Ngeun, there was no more muddy sections to have cardiac arrests on…

I stopped to admire the view...and to give my nerves a break...!!

This tree had relocated to a spot that I thought was rather inappropriate...

I'll say...!!

We climbed up to the first ridge of mountains and stopped at a place Willi recommended…

I stood looking down into the valley below, seeing the road we had just come up there on, and the Nam Ming river making a long lazy loop as it made its way to its confluence with the Mekong…

Despite the slippery conditions, the Michelin’s did not put a “foot” wrong, even when I “overcooked” the odd corner, and had to lay the bike over more than I normally would have liked to on a wet road…

I dodged a fallen tree, a large pot-bellied pig and six of her piglets, and through it all, the rain still pelted us…

The next climb took us up to 1425 m.a.s.l., and into the cloud cover… It was cold…very cold, …and wet…!! I quickly realised that I was not dressed for this kind of extreme weather… I was wearing a T-shirt under my Jacket, and my rain coat over that… The cold cut through me, my wet gloves causing my hands to begin cramping…

Only 330 km to Vientiane....!! Bonus...!! Not...!!

Pronounce this one if you can...!! I had to smile...!! Maybe those bloody Finns had given them the idea...!!

Mist shrouded village, where we stopped to take a breather... We were the only imbeciles out and about...!!

I pulled over in Phou Khoum to shelter under the roof of a petrol station that was still being built, changed gloves, chomped on a bar of chocolate, and then got going again… I wanted to get out of the higher altitudes as quickly as possible… I knew that this was going to be as bad as it would get, and a few kilometres furthen on, we would begin our descent into Vang Vieng…

The road climbed up onto a narrow ridge, running along the backbone of a long range of mountains… The wind tore at us on this relatively unprotected stretch, catching me unaware at times, pushing me off my line, and causing the odd unplanned for wobble…

When the clouds lifted, I stopped to look back along the road we had just climbed...

The inclement weather had driven everybody indoors... This village appeared deserted...

The mist covered mountains south of Pha Tang... I was glad to be out of their cold clutches...!!

The bright green of the paddy fields was in stark contrast to the gray skies above...

Things improved as we descended into the valley and rode through Nam Ken, Pha Chao and Hua Muang and on to the town of Kasi, where the bright green of the paddy fields once again had me slowing down to take a closer look…

At Xang we turned east, leaving the River Lik behind us, and rode on down into Somsavat before turning south again for the popular resort town of Vang Vieng…

I went looking for something to eat, and NOT to find the bikini-clad girls that Willi had made such enthusiastic mention of…!! Besides, it was still raining, and every backpacker and his dog were indoors, drinking coffee and swapping travel stories of derring-do…

“Ha..!!” I thought to myself as I listened while munching on a super-sub sandwich of Salami and Cheddar, “Take that big bike out there back to Luang Prabang, and you’ll find a bit of the “derring-do” you’re all talking about…!!”

This mountain wore a necklace of wispy cloud...

The road wound through roicky outcrops, following the Xong River to Khan Mak and Vang Khi, down into the valley and on towards Vientiane....

It had been a long and tiring stretch, taking me almost four hours to cover the 230 km to Vang Vieng, and I briefly considered staying over there to see what this town had to offer…

But after looking around at the young folk around me, and the noise and mayhem they were generating, I decided against it and got back on the Big Fella for another push to Vientiane, 160 km away…

Just after the town of Phonghong, I zoomed past an old Honda, being ridden by a guy in a yellow raincoat…

As I passed him with a wave, I noticed the Second World War, German helmet he was wearing, and the plastic goggles that one would normally use when mowing the lawn or using a brush-cutter to trim those troublesome edges in your garden…

“This is a hardcore biker…!!” I thought to myself, “And with that helmet, I’m betting he ain’t Spanish…!!”

Half an hour later, I stopped to call Willi to get the GPS co-ordinates of the hotel he was staying at, and to check on the weather in Vientiane… While I was doing this, Untergestafsfueher in bright yellow came tootling past me…

I caught up to him again near Don Noung, and slowed down to take a photo of him….

"Achtung, achtung...!! Ze Choimans are coming....!!" The intrepid Marko Johansmeier, otherwise known as just plain "Meier", and soon to be our new found friend...!!

We rode together from that point on, skipping in and out of the traffic, the old Honda hesitant, but keeping up all the same…

While waiting for lights to change on the outskirts of the city, I asked where he was going and invited him to join us at the SNK Hotel… He seemed happy to accept and followed me to the hotel, where we finally got to introduce ourselves and begin the usual round of questions all bikers ask each other…

Willi arrived on his scooter, carrying the usual shopping bag crammed with food, and suggested we go into downtown Vientiane for supper…

“Meier” as he liked to be called, had a booming voice that carried far beyond the circle of people he spoke to, and I got a huge kick out of listening to his accent…

Willi lost the toss and had to give Meier a lift into town... The Honda's battery had given up the ghost...!! "Vorta in ze lectriks...!!"

My old mate Tintin, on the streets of Vientiane...

River fish cooked on the coals at a street vendor's stall... "I sink not" said Meier... "Better ve haf hamburgers instead, ja...??"

He had a great sense of humour and kept us entertained with his stories of his rides through South and North America, as well as through most of  Southern Africa, which he had enjoyed immensely…

“I vont to go back zere…!!” he said on more than one occasion…

After a quick shower, we took the bikes into town, Meier riding on the back of Willi’s scooter… They made a comical pair as we zooted through the darkness… Hoots of occasional laughter came back to me on the wind…!!

We ordered hamburgers from a street stall, and then ate them across the road at an upmarket coffee shop… Intermittent rain and drizzle fell while we sat there, and we resigned ourselves to getting wet on the way home…

I noticed Meier looking longingly at the hamburger stand after he had finished the one he had bought, and when we went outside again later, he ordered and ate another while we walked around and looked at the various sights of downtown Vientiane…

And there's a bit of squid to go...!! Refridgeration...?? Never heard of it...!!

The chicken flatties and the pork ribs I could still deal with..., even though they would probably have me doing hand-stands in the shower the following morning...!!

The evening did not end too well for me, as on the way back to the hotel, and only a few blocks away from it, I ran out of petrol…!!

I stopped in the drizzle that was coming down quite strongly, poured two litres from one of my fuel bottles into the tank (while gently berating the Big Fella for choosing that precise moment to let me down…!!) and then hopped back on the bike and made my way down what I thought was the road to the hotel…

Twenty four kilometres and half an hour later, having almost crossed the border into Thailand at one point, I finally found the hotel…

For some reason known only to Gi-Gi, she had not saved the co-ord’s to the hotel when I had put them in earlier that afternoon… Or hidden them where I could not find them…!! Silly Cow…!!

When I hopped off the bike and looked at my phone, I saw that I had three missed calls from Willi and an sms asking where I was… That gave me a good feeling, and when he came out of the lobby with a worried look on his face, I smiled even more…

“That’s what biker buddies are all about…!!” I thought… I felt like throwing an arm around my old pal…!!

We sat chatting for a while and then as midnight approached, I felt a tiredness that I had not felt since earlier that morning, come over me…

I needed sleep…

After today’s ride, I had earned more than just a few hours of shut-eye…!!

©GBWT 2011